You Too?
by idekwthimdoin
Summary: "Let me finish my dying speech in peace, jerk." Dean would have laughed, except this may really be Sam's dying speech, and that was so not funny. (Wincest) T for Swearing.


**A/N another wincest fic with yummy Guilty!Dean and delicious Sam whumpage.**

 **i hope you like it :)**

This was bad. This was really bad. Dean was dragging Sam through the forest, towards where they parked the Impala. Sam was almost limp, muttering through ragged breaths.

"Stupid-friggin' werewolves." Dean cursed as Sam cried out in pain. They were both covered in blood, but most of it was Sam's.

Stupid, self-sacrificing Sam. It was a screwed-up hunt, with three werewolves instead of one. Dean took out Werewolf #1 without breaking a sweat, months in Purgatory had made him into the perfect killer. However he didn't hear Werewolves #2 and #3 until the last minute. As they attacked, Sam jumped in between Dean and the monsters, putting a silver bullet straight into Werewolf #2's heart, but didn't have time to aim at Werewolf #3, who proceeded to rake his claws down Sam's abdomen.

Dean's shot should have drowned out Sam's agonized cry, but Dean heard it all the same, and it ripped through him, just like the werewolf's claws ripped through his brother.

The cuts were deep, worryingly deep. As in, _take Sam to the hospital as fast as you can because his guts could be spilling out and oh shit oh shit oh shi-_

"D'n," Sam gasped out.

"Almost there, Sammy. Just hold on." Sam's voice distracted him from his internal freak-out. The Impala came into view and he _most definitely did not_ feel like sobbing in relief _._

After gently helping Sam into the passenger seat, he floored it, straight to the hospital. Though even with Dean breaking the speed laws, it would take them 10 minutes at least, but Sam needed help since _yesterday._

He focused on not crashing the car, until Sam spoke up.

"Dean," Sam said through ragged breaths. "I'm sorry, for everything."

"What are you talking about?" Dean demanded, because why was Sam sounding like he was about to die? _He was not dying, not on his watch._

"Just in case I don't make i-"

"Shut up Sam, don't say shit like that. That's the injury talking. _You are gonna make it."_ Dean growled.

"Just in case. I wanna apologize, for Dad, for Hell, for Lucifer, for the whole soulless shebang, an-" Sam coughed, his coughs sounding wet and painful. "and for not looking for you in Purgatory,"

"Sam, now's not the time."

"Let me finish my dying speech in peace, jerk." Dean would have laughed, except this may really be Sam's dying speech, and that was _so not funny._ "I wanted to look, really, I did. But I thought you were dead. I couldn't save you. I failed you. I let you down. What was I supposed to do?" Dean's eyes widened at how familiar those words sounded. He remembered the first time Sam had died, how lost he felt.

"I thought…maybe…you were in heaven. I didn't have any right…to take you away from there, no matter how much…I needed you. I couldn't…be that…selfish." Dean's heart pounded at how short Sam's breaths had gotten. He silently pleaded for the Impala to go faster, but he didn't interrupt Sam. At least the kid was talking and not passing out, even if the words broke his heart. All this time, he thought Sam didn't care enough to look for him. He was angry and hurt, and it never occurred to him that Sam needed him.

"I guess, in a way, I thought I deserved it…I…wasn't…I am not… _right,_ Dean. I mean, what kind…of person am I? What kind of…freak…is in love with his own brother?" Sam choked out, before his eyes rolled back and he passed out.

Dean arrived at the hospital in 6 minutes.

Their entrance to the hospital was a dramatic one. Dean carried his limp brother in, yelling for help. It must have scared the other patients to death, seeing two men covered in blood and terrorizing the nurses. Everything was a little hazy now that the adrenaline wore off. Dean was currently sitting on a hard chair, taking in the familiar atmosphere of the hospital. Dean hated hospitals, it was too clean, and he was surrounded by the sick and dying. He hated that Sam was part of the "sick and dying". A nurse came by to offer him some clean clothes, which he declined. He didn't care about his clothes when his brother was somewhere in the hospital.

 _Dying. Or dead._ Dean willed his brain to shut up, and desperately tried to find something else to focus on. He remembered Sam's words from earlier. He put his head in his hands and pulled at his hair in an attempt to rip his hair out.

Of course Sam would choose that time to confess his feelings and screw with Dean's head. He tried to process everything Sam said. He hadn't looked for Dean because he thought Dean was…happy? In heaven?

A huge wave of guilt washed over Dean. How could he think that Sam was selfish? Sam was the most selfless person Dean knew. He sacrificed so much for a world who wouldn't thank him. Sure, he'd made bad decisions in the past, but his heart was in the right place. And he'd paid for those mistakes. Over and over again. And all Dean did was make him feel bad for it all. God he was such an ass.

"What kind of…freak…is in love with his own brother?"

Sam's words echoed in his head. His own brother had non-brotherly feeling for him. Dean had no idea how to feel about that. What if it was some pain-induced delusion and Sam had no idea what he was saying?

"Mr. Livingston?" Dean looked up as one of the doctors called his fake name. Dr. Cawyer-or was it Sawyer-approached him with a tired look on his face.

"How is he?" Dean demanded before the doctor even reached him.

"It was touch-and-go for a while, but we managed to stabilize his condition. He's asleep for now, but you can visit him. He'll be awake once the anesthesia wears off."

Dean's knees almost buckled with relief, but he steeled himself and followed the doctor to where Sam was.

Sam was passed out on a bed, looking frailer and paler than ever. Dean wanted to pick him up and run, away from this stupid hospital, this stupid life, and hide away forever.

"I'll give you two some time alone. Feel free to call for assistance if you need any." Dean nodded absently, not taking his eyes off of Sam. When they were finally alone, he dragged a chair and sat beside the bed. He wasn't sure whether to cry, scream or run, so he settled for holding Sam's hand, afraid to let go, in case this was all a dream and Sam really was dead. An hour passed and Dean was talking, the silence was driving him crazy.

"What the hell were you thinking, jumping in between like that?" Dean whispered. "I almost lost you again, you idiot. And that whole dramatic speech in the car? What was that? You think it's funny to say things like that?"

"I'm sorry." Dean flinched a little at the unexpected apology.

"Sam! You're awake." He looked up at Sam, whose face was unreadable.

"Yeah, I am. You ok?"

"You're the one who's lying on a hospital bed, and you're asking me if I'm okay?" _You selfless bastard._

"I don't mean physically." Sam clarified, his voice flat. Dean was taken aback by his brother's demeanor.

"What are you talking about?"

"Look, forget about whatever I said back in the car okay? Let's pretend it never happened."

"Denial's my thing, Sam." Dean argued.

"You saying you wanna talk about it right here, right now?"

Dean was silent. Perhaps they both needed time to sort, whatever this _thing_ was, out.

"Yeah, thought so." Sam muttered, closing his eyes once more.

A week later, they were back on the road, on the way to a new state. They had acted as normally as possible, both ignoring the pink elephant in the room.

 _Incest._

That's what it was. The word sounded so wrong, so taboo. But why didn't Dean feel disgusted or repulsed whenever he looked at his brother? In fact, ever since the hospital, he'd only felt more drawn to Sam. It was so confusing, and _damn he really needed a drink right now._

He pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped the car.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked.

"Something we haven't done in a long time, little brother." He climbed out of the car, grabbing the cooler as he went. He sat on the hood of the Impala, and sighed as the cool night breeze brushed his face. He looked back at his brother and gestured for him to come join him. He offered Sam a beer as he sat next to him on the hood, which Sam gratefully accepted.

They sat in silence, sipping their beer, neither one willing to speak first. Dean turned towards his brother, who was busy studying the stars. Sam's face looked pale in the moonlight, his eyes shining. His eyes never seemed to decide on one color, but they always looked beautiful.

How could he have been so blind? Sam was the most unselfish and loyal person he knew. He made mistakes, but he tries to fix them. He was knocked down, but he got back up every single time. Not to mention, his brother was a freaking genius. Dean focused on his brother's lips, soft and pink, and Dean was hit with a sudden urge.

 _A sudden urge to kiss Sam._

Maybe it should have bothered Dean that he wanted to kiss his own brother. Maybe it should have bothered Dean that he didn't feel wrong, or conflicted at all. But it didn't bother him. Not one bit. They had both sacrificed everything, and each other for the world. The world could at least give them this, right? Why couldn't they allow themselves to be happy, with each other? And if the world had anything bad to say about it, then the world could burn in hell.

Maybe Dean was the selfish one this time. But he didn't care. Maybe he _was_ in love with his brother. The was only one way to know for sure.

"Sam."

"Hmm?" Sam turned to look at him, eyebrows raised.

"Did you mean what you said? That you loved me?" Dean asked, his voice soft and low. He felt Sam freeze up next to him.

"I thought we weren't gonna talk about this." Sam said, his voice tight and controlled.

"Answer the question." Dean swallowed. "Please." Sam was silent, and Dean was about to give up when Sam sighed.

"Yes. It's true." Sam was looking down at his feet, his face covered by his hair. Dean cupped his face and tilted it towards him, leaning in slowly, giving Sam enough time to push him away if he wanted to.

"D-Dean?" Sam's eyes were wide with confusion, but made no move to push him away.

"Shhh…just let me…" Their lips met, and Dean would be lying if he said it wasn't one of the best kisses he'd experienced. They fit each other like two puzzle pieces, and together, they were whole. Sam's mouth parted to let him in, and Dean licked into his mouth. It tasted like beer, toothpaste, and _Sam._ It was perfect. Why hadn't he done this before?

 _Yeah, he was definitely in love with his brother._

Dean nipped Sam's lips before pulling away, both of them slightly out of breath. They rested their foreheads against each other, absorbing each other's presence.

"You too?" Sam asked. Dean didn't need to ask what Sam meant.

 _You want this too?_

"Yeah Sammy, me too." Dean whispered, before pulling Sam in for another kiss.

 **A/N I hope y'all enjoyed this one.**

 **i won't be posting as often now that school's starting again, but if any of you have prompts, feel free to message me :)**

 **Please fav and/or review :)**

 **Thanks guys!**


End file.
